30 September 2008

Keep the spark Alive

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune

By Chetan Bhagat 23rd June, 2008


Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.


Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damn lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You!

30 March 2008


FEED YOUR FAITH AND DOUBT WILL STARVE TO DEATH!

--Anonymous

31 January 2008

Questionnare for the year!

Wanted to post this , in the beginning of the year, But as the old adage goes:"better late than never".

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before
?
The things I buy/wear, my utility/fone bills.. and even my school fees..all come from my pocket! I have never done this bfore :).. feel good factor

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never really made any big time resolutions..bt im sure, im a better than bfore..that includes my weight as well :P


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nopes! bt my roomie[closest/nearest to me] would soon give birth


4. Did anyone close to you die?

no..thankfully!


5. What countries did you visit?

none.. just US, other than my native land


6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?If I asked for it, would I get it?
Drivers license :P

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

couple of them... they remain etched...cos they deserve to be :)


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
refer to Q1,and I finally have overcome few fears!


9. What was your biggest failure?

none so big!


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

none @ all... inshallah!


11. What was the best thing you bought?

hmm.. for my cousins... 2 good books:) and for myself...none so far.. maybe...maybeee.. something/someone is in store for the future :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
-skip

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

-yyawwnn-skip again

14. Where did most of your money go?

refer Q1 :P

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my trip to Tennessee, and d first time i tried bungee jumping.


16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

happy days-oh my friend[telugu]

nickel back-English
Tum se hi- Hindi

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
oh yes...definitely happier/richer/..and s... fatter too

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
hardwork & work out

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
none..probaly intake of calories... goddd... Am I being too conscious or wat?...[*sighs*]


20. How did you spend Christmas?
a friends xmas party...had loads of indian food![yummmmmy]

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

No....err...I dont know.. i dont think so! :P[I guess this will be my reply..always, not just this year]

22. What was your favorite TV program?
none

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
none

24. What was the best book you read? I strtd rding 3 books, yet to cmplete..

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

a few collection of old songs of mine, ...the greatest yet to come

26. What did you want and get?
i donno, the 'want' or 'get' part, but I was given what i needed, and im thankful &contended!


27. What did you want and not get?

same as above!


28. What was your favorite film of this year?
HAPPY DAYS!
& Pursuit of happiness

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22.. and i actually dint have a proper lunch/dinner.. nt a gr8 day though.. but i was happy with my bday surprise gifts n wishes frm ppl whom i did not expect:)


30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

my space & freedom..cheers!


31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

simple yet chic!


32. What kept you sane?

my habits:)


33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

none...!


34. What political issue stirred you the most?

bhutto assasination


35. Who did you miss?
list is big!!!


36. Who was the best new person you met?
best..hmm.... 2 of them:)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
If there is a problem, solution[s] exist too, So,be bold and be patient

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...


P.S: the song which runs as soon as my blog opens:)